


The Future's For Living

by Scarleystars



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, 00Q is just a hint, Gen, I write too many tags, Professional Decendent Q, and brandy has a hell of a kick, because of course Agnes would be a shipper can you imagine? She wants them HAPPY., but heavily implied towards the end, dunno why brandy except Bond's got the market cornered on Scotch, everyone needs a statement drink, fusion fic, just the thing for long-suffering department heads after a long day at work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:04:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarleystars/pseuds/Scarleystars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mallory's accepted his position as newest mother for all the wayward children killing their way across the world for Queen and Country (and information relevant to both of the above), what he doesn't expect is that a woman who blew up her village as they burnt her to death for witchcraft would have written a book that could tell him why they were still having trouble in Bavaria, or included what could only be described as medieval fanfic about his quartermaster and 007.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Future's For Living

Mallory was still adjusting to life as a letter in charge of the secret service; he had the PM on his back for the Silva debacle, and MI6 was still adjusting to being down in the bunkers. So it was utterly justifiable to take his time going through all the previous M's affects. 

That was his excuse and he was sticking with it.

It took him two weeks and a particularly nasty dressing down of 004 about not flouting the Gevena Convention on missions, for him to reach for the cabinet in which he had installed his emergency brandy and realise it had a false bottom.

The cabinet. Not his brandy.

Moneypenny was a godsend on occasion, and when he commed through to tell her to move all his appointments for the day, he found she'd already gone ahead and done just that. He idly wondered if he should have words with her about _telling_  him these things, but eventually the brandy and curiosity took over.

He locked the door. Of course it wouldn't be more than a token protest of one of the double-ohs or Q came looking for him, but it would give him time to at least shove any confidential items (and his alcohol) somewhere they wouldn't see at a glance. Mallory found it was easier to look disapproving when it looked like he was in the middle of working on something rather than drinking away his hard life as caretaker of the Killer's Nursery School For Queen And Country.

 

When he finally got around to dismantling the cabinet and checking that opening the false bottom wouldn't set off any explosives, or ruin the contents (it's not just double-ohs that have the market in paranoia you know) it's contents turned out to be a book. Very old and rather large, accompanied by a newer portfolio, and newer still letter in what Mallory was learning was the last M's sweeping handwriting. 

 

Brandy put to one side, he opened the letter first. Which was just as well, because nothing would have made sense if he'd started in any other order.

 

_Once you've finished reading, you are to burn the letter, read the book, and tell absolutely no-one about any of this; you are now involved in a secret that is larger than MI6, but still concerns it._

Well, that was a cheery start, Mallory thought. Oh joy. More secrets within secrets. And started reading.

 

Several hours later and Mallory was confused more than anything else. He had, the letter had told him, a copy of **The Nife and Accurate Prophefies of Agnes Nutter** ; and in the portfolio, deftly annotated notes about every occurrence within it that could relate to National Security or the Secret Service in general. There were surprisingly a lot.

 

In the end, he memorized some of the more pertinent prophecies to look out for, locked the book and portfolio back in their place, burnt the letter like instructed, and went on like normal.

 

Three months later, and he'd had to cross-reference with The Book twice on things that had all happened over five years ago but were still having backlashes and was still slightly surprised at A) the accuracy of it and B) that he was going along with this all.

Sometimes he was exceedingly tempted to talk to someone about it all, but always in the back of his head was the case-story in the letter about how the _last_  M's predecessor had warned her not to talk to anyone about it, and she had ignored it. 

The tale ended with the promising double-oh she had confided in becoming increasingly erratic and then throwing a knife at her in her own office. She hadn't blinked, The Book definitely had mentioned three other occurrences she had yet to get to, which clearly meant she wouldn't die there -the book was Always Right, it was just a matter of interpretation- and watched impassionately as the newest recruit of the whole of MI6 burst in and tackled the double-oh to the ground.

She got them to leave the knife stuck in the woodwork behind her head as she thanked Commander Bond for neutralizing the threat, and then sent about for the cleaners to get the bloodstains out of her carpet.

The double-oh was still in an institution somewhere, claiming the M25 was a hell symbol called Odegra.

It was a particularly vivid image, one that replayed in his mind every time he had to stare into 007's icy blue eyes when giving him another mission.

 

 

"What can I do for you today, Q?" The skinny quartermaster in question had dismantled all of his security protocol, strolled in unannounced as Moneypenny was out to lunch and the security cameras were having a suspicious blackout _like it was no big deal_  (really, it was the second time this week someone had decided to make a Grand Entrance into his office without an appointment. It was shaping up to be One Of Those Weeks) and handed him a suspiciously familiar book. 

"Agnes made a sequel," came the reply "apparently Aunt (twice-removed) Anethema  got it a few days after The Apocalypse That Wasn't and The Family is all rather put out that she's only just handed it over to us all _now_. She made some pithy excuse about getting on with out lives unhampered by Agnes' words or some such thing." The tone of his voice suggested that Anethema was a moron who didn't understand the wealth of information she had at her fingertips and it's many many applications.

 

M (he was gradually sinking into his letter) tried not to be too confused, and so latched onto the one bit that gave him pause. "And The Family is....?

 

"We happen to be Agnes' progeny. We go by 'professional decedents' nowadays though. " Came the dry voice, "she's given us all some fantastic tips over the years. Grandfather Ted's investment in number 2321 was the best in my opinion."  
(M looked it up later, **2321:**   **When the manne createth the magick box, and cann use It to talke to anyonne, buy into the Worlde's Web. )**  
"He made a fortune, and I wouldn't be here if he hadn't let me tinker with a few of his early computers." There was a small pause before Q carried on, "look, I can't stay long, _someone's_  got to get the security cameras back online before any of the other network's realise we're vulnerable."  
Q smirked, even though M was 90% sure that it was his fault in the first place. "Just don't let Bond read the first few pages. He'd throw a temper tantrum as if the fact Agnes wrote it down means it wasn't entirely his idea. And 007 with a temper tantrum means more bodies to dispose of and him going places that are practically techno-null so I have to bring him back in person." Q rolled his eyes as if the thought was dull and too time consuming and if he had to _fly_ to retrieve the double-oh agent then Bond could just _stay there_ until he got bored and came back of his own volition. Before M could take it all in, he was gone.

 

M sighed, and opened the book. He looked at the first page. And then the second. And the third. Sanity returned to him by the fourth, but only until his brain caught up with the fact the first three pages of the  **Further Nife and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter. Concerning the Worlde that Is To Com; Ye Saga Continuef!** were one big _detailed_  scenario involving James Bond and Q breaking all of the fraternization guidelines in one fell swoop. and then repeating the process.

 

M made a note to get Moneypenny to clear his schedule when she was back from her extended lunch with 009 that he wasn't supposed to know about, and reached for his newest bottle of brandy. He had the feeling it was going to be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Mallory! All put upon like that. Well, he'll just have to get used to it I suppose, won't he? 
> 
> First time writing for the Bond fandom, but it's amazing what plot bunnies can spawn when you have a million other more important things to do with your day. 
> 
> Tried to keep it as canon as possible to Good Omens, whilst still indulging all my scenarios that brought about this fusion fic.  
> Also, un-betaed, so feel free to point out any grammar/spelling mistakes if you find them.
> 
> -Scar


End file.
